Heartbreak and friendship

It is almost impossible to describe the amount of things I have learned in the past few months. Not only have I learned so much about myself, I have also learned and realized a lot about life. It's not much of a secret that a couple months ago, I was in a pretty rough spot. Never before had I been heartbroken the way I was, and I must say it definitely changed me. Of course at the time, I could only see the negatives of the situation. But coming out of it, I am so glad that I experienced the things that I did and came out of it the person that I am.

Through the hard times, I realized that it is necessary to be absolutely shattered by love at some point in our lives. For me, it really put things into perspective. It made me realize what I want, and the things in a relationship that will be most important to me in the future. Although the situation did leave me with quite a few reservations about getting into future relationships, I am glad that it has taught me to be cautious, to protect and think about myself instead of always putting others first. There are times in life when we need to be selfish. If not, we lose track of what is important to us and miss out on what we truly want out of life.

Another thing that I've learned in the past few months has become very important to me. One day, while talking to someone very dear to me, I realized that there are some people who will just always be a part of your life. Even when the different events in life make it seem that a relationship with them could never be attained, there they are. There is a sense of security that it gives me knowing that at the end of the day, I always have this person, this family to go to. No matter what happens and no matter where life leads me, they will always be there. And on the other side of that, there are people who will not always be there. I really believe that there are certain people that are brought into our lives only to teach us small lessons, and then they're gone. And I've finally realized that there's nothing wrong with that. I will never again take a single person for granted because I realize that everyone has a different story and there is something beautiful that can be learned from each and every person that makes even the smallest footprints in our lives.

There's always something to be learned in music

After my first post, many people asked me why I started this blog, or where it came from. To be honest, a few months ago I was going through a really rough time. I felt defeated, alone, and like no one could completely understand how I felt. Because of my disconnect with the people around me, simply talking to others didn't seem to satisfy the desire I had to express how I felt. Because of that, I started writing on a blog just like this one. However, at that point, I wasn't completely comfortable sharing the things I wrote with the world. So the blog was my escape. It was the place I went to when I felt like there was no one else to explain myself to.

Now, I'm in a different place. I have come to terms with the things that happened, and have really been able to put everything in perspective. That's when I decided that I no longer felt defeated and alone, and I was excited to put my thoughts into writing, and also excited to share those thoughts with whomever was interested in reading them. With that being said, I heard this song tonight and came to the realization of something I really want. I've always said that I have a lot of love to give, and I truly believe that. When I heard this song, I kind of just connected with it and decided that it relates a lot to what I ultimately want in life and to a lot of feelings that I often have.

Marry me - Train

Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm

It's been a long time coming...

There are many times throughout my days when certain things happen, and I always get this strange urge to write about it. I've never really been one to keep a diary or journal, but I feel like writing is such an awesome way to process through the different thoughts, feelings and craziness of life. So, here it goes..

In the last couple of months, things have changed a lot for me. I've met a lot of new people, realized who my true friends are, and as lame as it sounds, I've kind of figured myself out. I know what I want, and I'm at a point where I refuse to settle for less. One thing I've really learned about myself is my huge lack of patience. There are random times where I just want to write the word patience on my hand to remind myself to slow down. I tend to get so far ahead of myself, jump into situations, want so badly just to know whats going to happen tomorrow and the next day and the next ten years. I've realized that for so long, I was in such a hurry for my life to just reach a steady point. Now, I've finally realized that God has an awesome plan for my life, and I need to be patient in waiting for it to come.

On top of that, for the third time in my life I had the amazing opportunity to be a counselor at Royal Family Kids Camp. This year at camp, as many know, was a tough one for me. Even now, more than a week after camp ended, the emotions of the week are still with me. Camp this year completely changed my life. It turned everything upside down. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God put me here to help kids that have never in their lives been treated the right way. I'm here to make a positive difference in the lives of abused and neglected kids, and my passion for this has never been more on fire. I can't wait to delve into the challenge, and I feel blessed for the opportunity.

There are still countless things in my life at the moment that I'm not exactly sure what God wants me to do with, but let me tell you, I cannot wait to find out. I don't think I've ever had such a passion for life as I do now, and I'm excited for everything that I know is going to come.